"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
