I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
