Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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