It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
