turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize