i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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