Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i drank out of a bidet.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
