2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
how does that bad decision feel?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize