If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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