This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize