I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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