He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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