i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Fuck appropriateness.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
