you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
