Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My vagina just recognized that song.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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