playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
