jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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