My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
