i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
