Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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