My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
