He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
