Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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