At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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