you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His hands were made for my vagina.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
