if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
