I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
