So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
