Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize