he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
