whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
