I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize