she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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