dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
