its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
