If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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