The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
