Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This is classic penis vs brain.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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