GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
