butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
