I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize