Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
