So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
