please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize