I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
