barbara walters just said penis...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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