and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
