He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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