when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
