scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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