You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
