we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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