i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
