p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
