The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
