: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
