i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
