The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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