Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
