In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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