Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm getting married
To pizza
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize