and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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