You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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