Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize